Confessions of a Blogger with Writer's Block

Okay. Time to speak the truth about my absence from my blog.

I struggle with writer's block here, and yet, I write all the time elsewhere.

My bag typically holds my journal and when I'm stuck at the computer, I use a great site called 750 words (http://750words.com/) to journal for myself. Sometimes, I tweet, text or email friends for support.I've even started writing content for my book.

So what's up with getting my writing up here?



Fear

I self-edit like crazy before posting here.

Confession time: I am afraid that if I post here, regularly and honestly, someone I know will come across it and will know all my "secrets".

I am afraid of writing. Which seems ridiculous, given how much I do and how big a part of my life it has become in my moving forward.

But here's the thing: By putting my writing (including the non-edited, non-perfect bits) out there, I feel that I am putting myself - and my dreams of becoming a published writer - up to be judged, shot down or criticised.

Perhaps someone influential will read it... and (literally) write me off as a failure before I even truly begin.

Perhaps a friend, or a family member, will read it... and worry that I am spending too much time thinking about issues I ought to be so over - so past this - by now.

Perhaps a stranger will read it... and never come back.

Perhaps - and this is the worst one of all - no one will really care. What's the point in writing this blog (or - gulp! - my book) at all, if no one will read it?!

Scary stuff, huh?



You may be thinking why even bother? I can tell you that this has definitely crossed my mind a million times. And yet here I am. I can't quite let go of the idea of writing a blog. My other forums for all sorts of different writings are brilliant - they truly are - and yet... here I am.

Moving forward has become about so much more than food, and my disordered relationship with it. It has opened up to being about allowing myself to dream. It's about allowing myself to try new things. It's even about allowing myself to fail, and if that is what becomes of my blog, my writing, my book then so be it.

So be it.


You see, there's a whole other list of 'perhaps' I overlook when the fear kicks in and it goes something like this:

Perhaps someone influential will read my blog... and will really love it. Maybe - just maybe - they'll love it so much, that I could stand a real chance at getting my dream job as a writer.

Perhaps a friend, or family member, will read my blog... and they will really understand what's been going on for me. Maybe my relationships will change for the better as a result of my being honest about my experiences of moving forward with my life.

Perhaps a stranger will read my blog... and will keep coming back.

Perhaps there are people out there who will care about what I have to say. Perhaps I will realise just how much of a positive impact I can have, with my words.



Today, in the spirit of committing to moving forward, I am choosing to believe in myself, my writing and in you - the people who may just happen to come across this blog.

Thank you for reading this. I sincerely mean it and I hope that you find something here that inspires or intrigues you enough to keep coming back.